One Liners

How's life?

Like on a boat. It makes you sick but you can't get off.

A foreigner was wandering around Moscow one night. He approached a policeman and asked:

Tell me please, where is the nearest bar?'

'The nearest bar? In Helsinki.'

Will there be a war?

No, there won't be a war. But there will be such a struggle for peace that no stone will be left standing.

How do you sink an Arab submarine?

Knock on the hatch.

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